The person in question is me. It’s my anxiety that holds me back from possible relationships and physical intimacy. Though I think I’m getting better, there’s a long way to go. Any advice?
The person in question is me. It’s my anxiety that holds me back from possible relationships and physical intimacy. Though I think I’m getting better, there’s a long way to go. Any advice?
What are you anxious about?
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I suffer from high anxiety which often plays into me being awkward around people. It’s a confidence thing.
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I’d just tell you to relax and simply enjoy the moment. If something like that gets into your head, it just amplifies and makes it worse. Get lost in the moment, and enjoy.
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Thanks for your support. I can’t thank you enough.
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No worries. 😊
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No I really mean it. Your advice is wonderful.
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I hope it helps some. Sex is fun. Don’t make it a chore. It’s meant to be savored and enjoyed. Treat it as such. 😃
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It’s more getting to become close to someone that’s the main problem.
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Ah. That isn’t always easy to do. The only advice o could give you on that is that if you meet someone you like, just walk right up and introduce yourself, be confident but at ease, then see where it goes. What’s the worst thing that can happen? 😃
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I suppose you’re right. Sometimes I know I must take the plunge.
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No risk, no reward. 😊
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Exactly.
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I was immensely sexually awkward when I first became physically intimate with Al, who is now my husband. I just spoke from my heart – I asked him to take it slow with me, to recognize my cues and my voice. We waited a few months to have full-on sex, which was the best decision. He wanted to be with me early on, and I asked him, nicely, to wait. It was completely worth it. Granted, it’s different for everyone. It takes time to build confidence. Take it slow. Don’t be afraid to tell your partner about your feelings. It’s so important to feel confident when it comes to physical intimacy. It takes time. I still feel awkward sometimes, even though we’ve been together for 7 1/2 years, and married for almost 2 1/2 years.
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Thanks for your advice Laura Beth. You’ve given me some hope.
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es this is a good exemple to follow
thanks laura
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Thanks for commenting.
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DO you suffer from high anxiety with everyone or just ladies?
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With most people. In school, I was bullied constantly. That caused a breakdown and depression. Though I’m better now, I’m still very shy.
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That’s not the best is it. You just need to learn to love yourself for who you are V~man, that gives you confidence to interact with anyone else.
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I think I’m getting there Fraggle. Slowly but surely.
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Good, just keep telling yourself you’re a yummy guy! 😘
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You think I’m yummy? Aw, you’re too lovely.
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Of course, you’re intelligent and funny and a nice guy, that equals yummy in my book.
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You’re a Godsend. Man you’ve given me a boost.
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Good! Get a permanent marker and write on your bathroom mirror- I AM YUMMY to remind you everyday. 😘
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Will do just that.
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Confidence has everything to do with attitude. Just be yourself, and know that you are enough- you are plenty – you can relax and enjoy yourself .
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Much appreciate what you say. It’s helping.
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As with most things in life, I would advise honesty. Be up front about feeling anxious and inexperienced. Almost every unattached person I know (whatever their age) uses online dating or contact apps now. Many people on those sites are boastful and brash, so perhaps be the opposite. Get online with a profile that admits to a background of bullying and anxiety, and find someone who wants to meet a man who is honest and vulnerable, instead of one who is false, and over-confident.
As I always tell you, there really is someone out there for everyone mate.
Cheers, Pete.
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Honesty seems to be the way to go. You’re a good friend Pete. Thanks for your message.
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You are the love God after all.
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Not the best track record, but I have tried hard. 🙂
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You’ve done good for yourself.
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The best advice sounds cheap (and maybe impossible to an anxious person) but it’s true: Just relax. The right person will see you for who you are.
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I totally understand your advice.
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My advice is “don’t force it” if you’re anxious and not feeling it… Maybe there’s a reason. When you find someone worth having sex with it’ll be good no matter what because they’ll accept you and communicate with you… I know that sounds super corny. But, it’s absolutely true! Also, sometimes awkward can be fun. 😘💖
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Awkward can be fun, eh? I’ll keep that in mind.
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If you can’t laugh while having sex. You’re doing it wrong. 😉😉😂🍻
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I’ll definitely take that into account. You’re very helpful.
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Sexual relations can be awkward but be easy about it. Exploring each other’s bodies can be quite fun. Slipping out of one’s clothes a little at a time is a great way to start. Just be open with your partner, your fears or expectations. I might even suggest from a naturist’s point of view to spend some nude time around the house. Get used to your body!
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Being open is something I really want. Thanks for your comment.
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I know I’m repeating others advice, but just be yourself Vinnie. You really are a lovely guy and the right person will recognize that.🤗
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Aww, you’re just so nice Kim. Couldn’t have asked for a better friend.
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I’m just speaking the truth Binnie.😙
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Thanks for that.
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Er, Vinnie.🤣
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If you can’t always say what you want out loud… write it down/text it. I sometimes find it hard to say what I want sexually but find it easier to send a text.
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You know that’s some excellent advice. I do find getting my thoughts out to be therapeutic.
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Um… I’m really not sure what I can add that hasn’t been said here already. You’ve got some good advice here, you just have to implement it. Aside from that, maybe some positive associations would help. Like doing something that you’re confident in and that you’re comfortable with beforehand, that feeling will carry over into your other activities.
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Thanks, I’m attempting to do more positive things. Much appreciate you stopping by.
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I meant directly before sexual interactions. Like, if you feel confident playing a sport build in time to do that before you see the person that you are interested in.
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Oh I understand, appreciate you clarifying.
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No problem, I hope it works out for you
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I hope so too. I trust you.
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From own experience, if you don’t own it and have that confidence, they don’t enjoy it as much, if your confident even if u make mistakes they won’t care. My lack of confidence led to us ending it.
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Thanks for commenting and providing your input.
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